Posted by Glyn Wade

‘Look at the size of that!’ I exclaimed to Claire. ‘Why would he want one that big? What would he do with it? How does he carry it? It makes my zoomer boomer look like an 18-55. It’s wayyyyyyy y too big for him. I bet he can see other galaxies with that.’ Well I might not have said quite that much but you get the point.



It looked about 12ft long but was probably more like 2ft. He needed a tripod to hold it because it was that huge. He probably could have touched the moon with it never mind taken a picture of the moon with it. It took four people to carry it round and someone had to walk in front with a red flag and make beeping noises when they were walking backwards.

Okay so maybe the last sentence is something of an exaggeration but this guy’s lens was HUGE! It really was the size of a telescope and was so big we couldn’t actually see the camera to which it was attached. I wasn’t envious at all, well okay, maybe a little of how close this lens must surely be getting Mr Telly Scope to his subjects……git…….

We were at Port Lympne Wildlife Park doing a gorilla photography day and Claire had paid for us to get closer to the gorillas. Mr Hugh G Lens hadn’t. He was behind us so I made every effort to get in his way….well you would too; be honest!

However, that wasn’t the most satisfying part. No the most satisfying part was when our wildlife photographer guide told us that Mr Telescope Lens’ pictures would be no better than mine. He explained something technical as to why that was so but I wasn’t really listening as I’d heard the bit I wanted to hear.

Life didn’t seem quite so bad after that.